Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This House is for Sale and it’s Covered in poo
If you are looking for a great deal in real estate, you may want to consider buying a foreclosure. However, let me warn you, foreclosures are not for the faint of heart. Not only do you have to wait longer for bank approval (up to six months) than you would for a “traditional” home purchase, you also need to prepare your senses (olfactory and otherwise) for the not-so-friendly “gifts” left by the typically upset sellers. Take for instance my most recent foray into the foreclosure world with two lovely first-time buyers. Not only did the lawn need to be mowed and the carpet replaced, the human feces smeared in giant brushstrokes across the living room walls also needed to be removed. Yes people, I said human feces. Albeit it is a sad situation to get foreclosed upon, it is an even sadder predicament when one poops on one’s walls in retaliation. Now it’s funny and it’s sad and it’s slightly deranged which makes this a good tale, but why am I telling you this? Well, I guess I hope that this serves as a warning to buyers, sellers, and agents alike. Buyers, if you are looking at a foreclosed property, get ready for anything. Sellers, if you are being foreclosed upon, please do not smear poop on the walls. I know you are upset, but how are poo-covered walls going to solve that? And agents, please, please, please educate your buyers about the hazards of looking at foreclosures. And bring a shovel.